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To kid or not to kid: bride who embraced kids at her wedding reveals all

A bride, groom, and a little girl share a kiss in front of a crowd of people at their wedding.

It’s one of the most controversial questions when it comes to planning your wedding day; will you be inviting my kids? Seriously, especially in the case of a destination wedding, this is one of the most common conundrums couples come across when planning their wedding.

It’s such a thing, that there are even scripts available online to help you break the news to your parent friends. As a mum of two, I can’t tell you the number of wedding invitations that have said something along the lines of, ‘As much as we love your kids, we ask that they stay home so that mum and dad can have a night of fun!’ It’s sweet, and so appreciated, but actually, having kids at your wedding can be kind of cool, too.

Here, a bride who embraced kids at their wedding talk about why they #recommend doing it!

Meet Bonnie, she was recently married to her longtime love, Tim. Together they have two little girls, and many, many nieces and nephews. They knew they wanted the kids to be a part of their special day, so they did their research and found a way to make their wedding kid-friendly, without killing the vibe. Here, Bonnie shares her tips on embracing kids at your wedding.

A little girl joyfully getting a cake from a box that's in front of her at a wedding, adding sweetness to the special occasion.
Image via The White Tree

Tip 1: Find a way to include the children in the ceremony 

When we exchanged rings we also gave the girls gold necklaces to include them in the process and uniting us all as a family, not just my husband and me. And bubbles, always have bubbles on hand to get great photos and occupy them when you need to.

A little girl wearing white dresses, and a man putting a necklace on her.
Image by The White Tree

Tip 2: Let kids be kids

Kids help break up awkward silences, they help break the ice and they make people laugh. They will want to be near you, they love you and there is so much going on. One of the best parts of my ceremony was my youngest daughter yelling out “Eadie isn’t sharing” – everyone laughed and so many people said it was the funniest thing and really made the event so personal and relaxed.

A young girl in a white dress holding a toy.
Image by White Tree

Tip 3: Create a kids table or kids area

Stock this with colouring books, soft play, glow sticks etc. We had an amazing little area where the kids had full rein and they could entertain themselves. We also hired a nanny to sit in the kids area so that there was always an extra set of eyes and an adult to colour with them and play with them. This meant that we could really enjoy our wedding, dance and speak to our friends freely throughout the night.

A table at a party full of kids playing.
Image by The White Tree

What’s the one hard thing about having kids at your wedding?

You have to let go of all ideas of perfection, or you’ll scream. The addition of kids means there will be things that go wrong, you will feel frustrated, but you need to remember that kids bring a sense of relaxed fun as well, and tapping into that could bring a warming atmosphere to your wedding day.

You also need to be aware that you’ll get next to no personal space all day. You think your kids need you on a normal day? Your wedding day is something else entirely. For this reason it’s a great idea to have help on standby. Where it’s a family member who can distract and tend to their (many!) needs, otherwise book a nanny to be onsite for the evening!

So, now that it’s over – would you change a thing?

I would do it again! I loved having them there. Although we only have 2 daughters we had 7 flower girls in total and it was the cutest. They looked adorable, and this is a core memory that will always be with them. I’m so thankful for that.


Hero image via The White Tree

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