Bridesmaids, groomsmaids, bridesmen, groomsmen and wedding parties are a hot topic right now.
Recently we spoke about the endangered status of the ‘wedding party’, and the overwhelming stats that show marrying couples opting to forgo having a traditional wedding party, and therefore boycotting a lot of the cost – and extra planning – along with it.
However, this is not the case for everyone.
There are still many couples out there who are embracing the traditional wedding party with gusto – and when taking a closer look, it seems that it’s costing the bride and grooms-people an absolute motza.
It comes down to the age-old question: what should a bride pay for, versus the bridespeople?
It all comes down to the type of wedding you’re having, and how particular you are about the different elements. Here are some questions you need to ask yourself before starting your planning.
– Do you have a very specific idea of what you’d like your bridesmaids to wear, or is there just a colour palette you have in mind?
– Are you planning to have a hen’s party, bridal party and a kitchen tea?
– Is your wedding local, or a destination wedding?
– Do you want them to have a specific hair and make-up look?
– Do they need new shoes and jewellery or are you happy for them to wear their own?
What do the answers to these questions tell us?
Basically, the more particular about a detail, the more appropriate it is for the bride to pick up the tab. Likewise, if you’re having a destination wedding, factoring in things like accommodation and flights means that you may choose to forgo a gift.
For e.g. if you’re a bride that has her heart set on a $400 sage green designer bridesmaid dress for her wedding party, you should probably accept the fact that you should by buying them.
Likewise, if you’re having your wedding in Fiji, $500 flights and at least that amount again on accommodation means you probably have to keep costs low elsewhere – and definitely do not expect a gift!
Not sure we’re spot on with this train of thought? Let’s do the maths:
Jenny asked her friend Brittany to be a bridesmaid. Brittany was over the moon and delightfully accepted! Here are the costs* Brittany was up for over the next few months:
Hen’s party: $200 for lunch, transport and drinks.
Bridal shower: $50 gift
Kitchen tea gift: $50
Very particular bridesmaid dress: $400
Very particular cream shoes: $180
Accessories: $100
Hair and make-up: $200
Spray tan: $50
Accommodation for wedding: $200 chip in
Total: $1,430
*These are fictional costs, actually erring on the side of caution, many costs are much, much higher than these!
See, it costs to be a bridesmaid or bridesperson! While it’s also a privilege, it’s a big ask for someone who is probably saving to buy a property, or to travel, or raise a family in a cost of living crisis.
What is the way forward?
We’ve talked before about traditionally what brides should pay for, versus bridespeople – but as times continue to change, it could be worth doing a sense check of those closest to you. Do they have big savings goals? Do you?
Here are a few tips to keep costs down for everyone:
– Choose a colour palette (like white, or beige – or green!) and allows your bridespeople to purchase, borrow or hire an outfit they’ll wear again!
– If you’d like to dictate a shoe colour, accept that they don’t have to be matching. Most people have a pair of white, black or beige shoes.
– Choose between a bridal shower or a kitchen tea, you don’t need both.
– Opt to pay for make-up, and ask them to pay for hair – or choose a simple style they can achieve themselves, like a sleek ponytail, and save money there.
